The purple and blue stains

Han sido 10 dias de…

Reflección
Confusión
tristeza
sonrisas
memorias

and all that remains are the purple and blue stains of a memory
the kind that sting when the sheets brush past it

no tengo palabras dice el poeta indomable
pero yo si tengo razones-razones inexplicables

the kind that follow me into that state
where
truth collides with the imagination
of all that was to be and
once
was

lo que era
ya
no
es
o quiza siempre sera
lo que quisiste nunca fui
as much as you wished it to be

it was the constant questioning
of
when would the rug get pulled
of
why is my love misunderstood
for
who should be the one to walk away
and
where is this all going…anyway

because age aint nothing but a number
but age became the fuel for the fire
of insecurities that burned in our minds
when we couldn't just sit and confide
in all the fears that were spoken—not enough

it was just never enough

because lets just be real....
love doesn't heal....
the wounds that run so deep....
they
no longer leave a trace of beginning or end

because all that remains are the black and blue stains....
of memory

of those days when trust was built
and
broken
of those days when comfort resided in a
mothers
bosom

yet she wasn't there
and
daddy wasn't there
and
sister doesn't care,
and
brothers-oblivious....
so why—tell me why—should I share?!

Do they love me?
Should
I
love
me?

They say yes, diluted mind tells me no
My body races
Just overcompensate!!
Give and give and give
Til you aint got no more
Not even a drop-for me!

But you gotta know
They'll see
Its called selfishness masked with self-sacrifice....
So who is the righteous one?

The one who couldn't love....
Or....
The one who loved too much

La pregunta es
quien fuiste tu
y
quien
fui
yo?

If we are a reflection of one another
Tu eres mi otro yo, que no?

Soy esa muxer insoportable
esa Xicana celosa
esa niña insegura

somos las muxeres cariñosas
las xicanas xingonas
las niñas heridas
las fridas sufridas

pero como Frida
pintamos nuestra propia realidad
y la que pinto yo ya no tiene
the purple and blue stains that remained
as the one memory from that night